The Champ Is Here

There is something different about the WWE these days. Vince McMahon is wrestling-retired (similar to Brett Favre-retired), Triple H is in charge of all the decisions, and CM Punk is starting to move up into that rarefied air of villains who grow so popular, they become heroes. The Rock did it, Stone Cold did it, and last night, CM Punk moved one step closer to doing it. I realize comparing CM Punk to those two is a bit like comparing Kurt Warner to Joe Montana or John Elway. Sure he’s good, but to compare him to the best ever would bring a deserved volley of “What?” from Austin fans, and a request to turn that comparison sideways from fans of The Rock.

 That being said, Punk is traveling down a road that has ended in super stardom in the past. It continued last night with the first guitar chord of entrance music. Living Colour’s “Cult Of Personality” brought out an energetic Punk for his own private sit down in the ring — just him, a mic, and the belt. Once seated, Punk proceeded to rip WWE management, play on the newly discovered vitriol for John Cena, and proclaim his love for the fans. For a former villain hated by fans, that is a check, check, and check for winning over the masses.

Ever since Punk’s now famous rant where he lambasted Vince McMahon to the point of his mic getting cut, he has made a weekly habit of attacking the WWE front office. This is nothing new. Austin did it and everybody started slamming beers together. DX did it and everybody started yelling “Suck It”. Now Punk is doing it with similar results. More and more people are buying Punk shirts, and more and more people cheer when he strides across the runway. The cheers continued Monday as he mocked Triple H in the ring on two occasions. They grew louder as he raised the belt above his head. And they turned up to eleven when he and Cena traded title-belt-raises and music cues to end the show. Cena with his substitute belt, and Punk with the real thing — Punk is becoming Raw. The cheers and support grow louder every week. Just as he stole Cena’s “The champ is here” tag line several times last night, he is slowly stealing the show from John Cena. Whether he is successful or not, will be determined at SummerSlam where, as announced by Triple H last night, Cena and Punk will have a match for the WWE title.

Of course there were actual matches last night too. There was an absolutely-nobody-cares-tag-team match. The current champs, David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty, took down Zack Ryder and Santino Marella. There was a these-four-guys-this-could-be-interesting-tag-match that saw The Miz and R-Truth leave victorious over John Morrison and Rey Mysterio. Current Money In The Bank briefcase holder Alberto Del Rio, managed to notch an arm-bar victory over Evan Bourne in a match that was used to bolster Del Rio’s rivalry with Kofi Kingston. These two will likely have a very good match at SummerSlam. There was also a Diva’s Royal Rumble that saw Beth Phoenix winning, and ten thousand people take a bathroom break.  

As promised before, I have also included an update of the WWE Fantasy League I am involved in. I am currently bringing up the rear thanks to a Big Show Injury and Cena not having an actual match last night. Cena is basically my entire team at this point, and if he doesn’t score big, then I don’t score at all. Hopefully he can pick it up next week, and get me some much needed points at SummerSlam two weekends from now. If not, I’m looking at a very Carolina Panthersesque season in the foreseeable future.

Oh You Didn't Know

We all had different experiences in college. Some of us partied more than we went to class. Some of us didn’t miss a lecture, but left millions of Solo Cups un-flipped. There were those of us, including myself, who fell in love with college sports, while others could take it or leave it. All of us were interested in, and to varying degrees were successful with, the opposite sex (you may be able to deduce which one I was through out this column about a fantasy wrestling league). We played sports, played music, joined clubs, took tests, got drunk, got high, got arrested, fell in love, fell out of love and in general had a lifetime of experiences and memories in only four, well, sometimes five, years.

Along with a lifetime of experience, college also gave us the habits and traditions that shape us as people. These habits can be anything from the career we choose, to the beer we drink, to the people we date. And for some--for those lucky few whose Monday nights weren’t busy with finishing homework but rather with finishing moves--those fortunate souls chose long ago to denounce the traditions of right and wrong in exchange for the much purer system of face and heel. Those habits involve sitting down for Monday Night Raw and getting lost in the WWE.

First, a public service announcement: I speak for all wrestling fans who are smart enough to spell WWE when I say, we know it’s fake. We are well aware that professional wrestling is a show put on by actors too big (and too bad at acting) to fit on a regular camera. We know that each match is scripted, and the outcome is determined before the action even starts. We know it’s basically a joke. Here’s the thing, we’re in on it. We don’t care that it’s scripted. In fact, most TV shows are scripted. This TV show happens to feature fifteen foot back flips and chairs to the face. Both of which are better than anything Franklin and Bash has to offer.

Even WWE acknowledged the non-sport nature of their product by naming it World Wrestling Entertainment. To become a fan of WWE, it must be consumed within the context of a regular TV show, and in this context, it becomes better than a lot of the junk on TV today. If you must think of it in sports terms, the fact that it’s scripted may help its cause since the WWE can put anything they want into any match. Imagine a football game where you’re guaranteed to see a 60-yard bomb from Peyton, or a baseball game with a guaranteed ninth-inning home run. Wouldn’t you be more inclined to order the next UFC pay per view if you knew the main event was ending with a knock out? The point is, if you just relax and quit worrying about how fake wrestling is, it can actually be pretty fun. 

All right, enough on my defense of the WWE and wasting every Monday night of my life for the past three and a half years. Back to the point of this article. In today’s society, we all want to be more involved. We vote on polls on websites; we start blogs. Sportscenter now shows tweets and texts from fans because we desperately want to be part of the action. So when my buddies and I sit down for an episode of RAW, there is always an urge for more. Naturally, we started a fantasy league. In the dog days of summer, with no end to the NFL lockout in site, we realized we needed to play fantasy something, and WWE was the obvious choice. So the four of us, my buddies C-Ezy, Big Scoob, Herbert and myself decided to create our own rules and start a league that runs for the rest of the year, and up to Wrestlemania 2012. And because I write for this website, and football season hasn’t started yet, I have decided to update it as a weekly feature. Every week I’ll recap scores and anything exciting that happened during that week’s Monday Night Raw. And remember, because its scripted, something exciting will happen. For now, here is our league’s constitution explaining how everything works. All rules subject to change because, well, its a WWE fantasy league.

Honorable Royal Congressional Constitutional Constitution Of The WWE Fantasy League

We gather here for the sake of America, freeness, freedom, and all things free, to celebrate the incarnation of American values that is the WWE. Ever since man invented sound, he has been filled with the desire to hit his fellow man with the ring bell. Ever since man grew civilized enough to eat at the dinner table, he has sought to slam his fellow man through it. And ever since man needed a titantron, he has yearned to swanton bomb off it wearing faggy make up. Many generations have witnessed and celebrated history inside the squared circle, and today we celebrate it the only way we know how, creating a fantasy league so we can beat our friends. Below is the first draft manifesto of rules for the innagural WWE Fantasy (not fake) Wrestling League.

The Basics
The league will consist of four teams. More may be added when the league takes off and we decide to monetize it, but for now it will be four teams. The season will last from the Money In The Bank pay per view through Wrestlemania. Points will be given out each week based on how well a teams roster performs on the corresponding episode of Monday Night Raw. Athletes will earn points throughout the episode based on match performance and several other factors detailed below. Whichever team ends up with the most points that episode wins that week A win gives that team 4 points, second place gets 2 points, third place gets 1 point, and fourth place gets 0 points. Points can also be earned during pay per views. The same Monday Night Raw scoring system will be used for each pay per view where points earned will be doubled. Wrestlemania will be the last chance to earn points, and the amount of points will be decided on a later date. The team with the most points at the conclusion of Wrestlemania will win the league and a prize to be determined later  

Rosters
Rosters will be made up of 4 Superstars and 1 diva. All players on a roster are eligible to score points every week. Rosters will be determined the night of the draft where teams will select Superstars from the current Raw roser. The only way to change your roster after the draft is through trades or through re-drafts. Trades may happen any time but they must occur on a player for player basis. More than one player may be traded at a time, but you have to get back as many players as you give up. Re-drafts will occur after every pay per view starting with Summer Slam. No re-draft will be held after Money In The Bank. In the event of a re-draft, every team’s last two selected athletes will be placed on waivers and made available to all teams. Teams will keep their first three athletes for the duration of the season unless they are traded. So if you happen to select Rey Mysterio and Alex Riley in the first round, too bad. The order of the re-draft will go from last to first in both rounds giving the last place person the first and fifth pick of the re-draft. As is the case with the original draft, teams can only select players from the current Raw roster. Players will earn points based on the scoring system outlined below.   

Basic Points

• Appearance on an episode of Raw or in a pay per view: 1 point
• Match Win by pinfall, submission, or KO: 4 points
• Tag Team Win: 3 points - In tag team matches, teams only earn points for the Superstar on their roster
• Count Out Win: 1 Points
• DQ Win: 1 point
• Hit Finishing Move: 2 Points each - Only one finishing move allowed, name when wrestler is drafted
• Main Event Appearance: 2 points - added to match points
• Beat Champion (Non-Title Match): 1 point - added to match win.

Match Stipulations
Additional points will be awards for wins based on the following match stipulations. In all cases, points are only awarded to the winning Superstar.

• Royal Rumble Match: 10 points.
• King of the Ring Tournament: 10 points.
• Money in the Bank Match: 8 points.
• Elimination Chamber Match: 8 points.
• Hell in a Cell Match: 5 points.
• Battle Royal: 3 points.
• I Quit Match: 3 points.
• Iron Man Match: 3 points.
• Last Man Standing Match: 3 points.
• Tables, ladders AND/OR Chairs Match: 3 points.
• Buried Alive or Casket Match: 3 points.
• First Blood Match: 3 points.
• Steel Cage Match: 3 points.
• No Holds Barred Match. 1 point.
• Falls Count Anywhere Match: 1 point.
• Guest Referee Match: 1 points.
• No DQ Match: 1 points.
• LumberJack Match: 1 point.
• 6-Man Tag Match: 1 point.
• Other If it's not on the list it's 1 point.

Titles
Any match with a title on the line will also have additional points added to it. Again, all points are given to match winners only.

• World Heavyweight Title: 11 points for winning, 6 points for defending.
• WWE Championship: 11 points for winning, 6 points for defending.
• US Championship: 8 points for winning, 4 points for defending.
• Intercontinental Championship: 8 points for winning, 4 points for defending.
• Tag Team Championship: 6 points for winning, 3 points for defending.
• Divas Championship: 3 points for winning, 2 points for defending.
• No. 1 Contenter's Match: Contender's Match: 2 point.

Several Other Factors
All points in this category are given out on a per episode basis.

• Relationship with a diva is mentioned: 1 point
• Turn back on former friend: 1 point
• Insults Vince Mcmahon: 1 point
• Insults announcers: 1 point
• If the comish determines a diva pin to be hot: 1 point for both divas involved
• Using third person: 1 point
• Sits at announcers table and talks during match: 2 points
• Destroys another superstars personal property: 3 points
• Is guilty of home invasion: 5 points
• Purposely loses a match: -3 points

Sunday Sunday Sunday!

2011 NFL Preview (What 2 Watch 4)

It’s summertime, fantasy football draft kits are up, The Manning Brothers are doing commercials, and Kenny Britt is getting arrested. It must be time to start thinking about football. According to experts, the lockout will end in the next few weeks, and a rushed, but on schedule pre-season will lead into the euphoria that is NFL Sundays in the fall. Hopefully this is what actually happens and the lockout becomes a distant memory, replaced by playoff hopes and fantasy trade questions. If all goes according to plan and there is a season, there will be plenty of story lines all over the NFL and ideally none of them involving Brett Favre or his cell phone. Below is a division by division breakdown of where some of those story lines may come from, and which teams will be the most interesting to watch this season.

AFC East – New England Patriots

The Patriots were a scary team last year. They won fourteen games with a young defense, two running backs nobody has ever heard of, and their best skill position player besides Tom Brady wearing a Vikings, Titans, and Rhein Fire jersey (only one of those is made up). With all that happening they still managed to lose only three games all year and were arguably the most dominant team throughout the 2010 season. The scariest part of last year’s Patriots team though is that they were playing for this year. Last season was supposed to be a practice round. The defense was young and untested, and Brady had mostly fresh faces around him on offense. Youth was supposed to keep New England from winning last year but the alliteration combination of Brady and Belichick wouldn’t let that happen. This off-season most of the Patriots take the step up from young and inexperienced athletes to NFL players entering their prime. Combine that with the machine-like production of The Two B’s over the last decade, and New England should somehow be even better than last year.   

AFC North – Baltimore Ravens

There is a clear little brother-big brother rivalry going on in the AFC North, and unfortunately for the Baltimore Ravens, they are not the Steelers. By all accounts Baltimore has had a very successful decade of football. They went to the playoffs seven times and won the whole thing in 2001. The only problem is their primary rival has won two Superbowls, and last year the Steelers grabbed the Black And Blue Rivalry title belt by knocking Baltimore out of the playoffs. This year, expectations are as high as they can be in Baltimore and for the veterans on their roster and the fans in their stadium, the “superbowl or bust” cliché certainly applies. The Ravens have the quarterback, the leader, and the coach necessary to make a run in the NFL, and this year they will get a chance to unseat their big brother and take back the AFC North. The best rivalry in football should make the Ravens one of the more interesting teams in football this season. At the very least, November 24th will be exciting when San Fransisco visits and Jim and John battle for the title of best Harbaugh in the NFL.

AFC South – Houston Texans

For Gary Kubiak and the Houston Texans, it’s time to get it done. The Texans have been on the verge of being a good team the last few years, but inconsistency and a defense that couldn’t stop me has kept them out of the playoffs. Last year they went 6-10, and their defense gave up an average of 30.4 points per game in their last eight losses. The struggle between good offense and bad defense made their games exciting, but also made them tough to win for Houston. This off-season they hired Wade Phillips to come run the defense and drafted the phenom JJ Watt (cut to me adjusting my University of Wisconsin hat) to help improve their d-line. These changes should help shore up a defense that only needs to be average playing alongside one of the most prolific offenses in the NFL. If the defense doesn’t improve and Houston gets off to a slow start, Gary Kubiak will be the one worrying about a shortened season.

AFC West – San Diego Chargers

The Texans learned how to be inconsistent from the Chargers. Over the last few years, no team has been more up and down than San Diego. Last year, the Chargers led the league in total offense and total defense but still managed to only win nine games and miss the playoffs. This has been the story out of Southern California for three or four years. At times, the Chargers look unstoppable with play makers all over the field on offense and on defense. They have good athletes at every position, not to mention Philip Rivers who can spin it as well as anybody in the league. Recently, they keep finding ways to shoot themselves in the foot by making mistakes at the worst possible time. Just like Houston, this makes for exciting, but very difficult to win games and has left Chargers fans consistently disappointed. There is plenty of reason to be optimistic this year, however, with Vincent Jackson coming back for a full season along with a healthy Antonio Gates. But it will be intriguing to see if they can avoid the blow-ups that have plagued them in the past. Of course, if they can’t, it will probably make for an even more exciting season.

 

NFC East – Dallas Cowboys

All eyes will be on Dallas this year as they try to bounce back from one of the more eventful seasons North Texas has ever seen. After being picked by no shortage of people to win the Superbowl last year, Dallas has to be considered one of the most disappointing teams from the 2010-2011 season. There is always a certain buzz around Dallas, but last year a slow start, followed by Tony Romo getting hurt, followed by Wade Philips getting fired, garnered the usual attention for all the wrong reasons. Last year had people questioning whether this group of Cowboys has what it takes to get it done and whether the entire franchise is simply over-rated. So 2010 was chalked up as a loss, and this year Jason Garrett will get a chance to show what he can do. As usual, he will have one of the most talented rosters in the NFL at his disposal along with all the hype that comes with it. If he can right the ship he will be a hero in Dallas, but have another year like last year, and Jerry will be looking to make some big changes in Big D.

NFC North – Green Bay Packers*

The Packers have to be the most interesting team in the NFC North simply because (and as a Vikings fan I’m shaking while typing this) they might be the best team in football. Last year they won the Superbowl despite being the most injured team in the NFL. This year they bring everybody back, and if they can cut down on some of the injuries from last year, they will be better than the team that already got a ring. Along with the best team, Green Bay may also have the best quarterback in the NFL. Aaron Rodgers is helped by an outstanding group of wide-outs, but there is no denying his ability to flat out throw a football. In his fourth year as the starter, Rodgers is entering his prime with essentially three consecutive 4,000 yard seasons under his belt and a QB rating of over 100 the last two years. He is quickly becoming the man in Green Bay and people are starting to wonder who Brett Favre’s Steakhouse outside of Lambeau field is named after.
*The Lions receive honorable mention in this division simply because a defensive line with Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley is likely to lead to several deaths.

NFC South – Tampa Bay Buccaneers

For the first time in a long time, there is hope in Tampa Bay. Everybody thought Raheem Morris was crazy when he guaranteed a ten win season last year. But a 10-6 record and a young core of players has silenced the critics and brought a level of optimism to Tampa that hasn’t been around since the Gruden era. At the heart of Tampa’s youth movement is Josh Freeman. Last year, the 6 foot 6 inch 248 pound quarterback established himself as the Buccaneers leader and best player. He earned the coveted label of a winner by pulling out games late against more talented teams and along with the ten victories, was able to throw for 3,500 yards and earn a quarterback rating of 95.9 for the year. Freeman also helps his team with his legs, and though he lacks the speed of Michael Vick, he showed a good sense of the moment by running for 29 first downs last year. His size and style of play lead to comparisons to Ben Roethlisberger and if Freeman can continue to improve, he should be able to close the gap between the two next year.

 

NFC West – St. Louis Rams

In 2007, 2008, and 2009, St. Louis managed to win three, two and one games respectively, and appeared to be on a crash course with the 2008 Detroit Lions and NFL history. Then, with the first pick in the 2010 NFL draft, the Rams turned water into wine by selecting Sam Bradford and saving football in St. Louis. Last year, the Rams won more games than in all three previous years combined. Season ending injuries robbed Bradford of his two best receivers but the young quarterback showed veteran-like poise and guided his team to a 7-9 record anyways. At this point, Bradford is everything the Rams drafted him to be. His physical talents were on display all of last year, and anybody who can amass over 3,500 yards throwing to Danny Amendola and Brandon Gibson has to be doing something right. On top of his throwing ability, Bradford has shown the on-field leadership a young, downtrodden team like the Rams needs to succeed. This year, meaningful football will once again be played in St. Louis and in an appalling NFC West, the Rams may just make the second season.

Hoops Nation

I have recently started writing for the up and coming magazine/website Hoops-Nation. The first issue came out today which hopefully is the beginning of a long long long and successful endeavor. Below you can find the cover page as well as the page with my article on the Memphis Grizzlies.

 

One Last Goodbye

The Grizzlies are feeling good right now. Last season was unquestionably the most successful in franchise history and they look poised to go on a Hickory High type run in the 2011-2012 season. With next year in mind I want to take one final look back at the year that was in hopes of figuring out what Memphis will be in the future.

Memphis has to be considered one of the most compelling teams next year, right? The Grizzlies have been one of the most interesting teams in the NBA starting with their decision to lose games so they could play San Antonio in the Playoffs. That’s right. They lost on purpose so they could play the Spurs. How did that conversation even go: “Hey guys, we could lose a few games and play the team with the best record in the Western Conference, the team with the best power forward of all time, one of the most experienced playoff teams out there and the team with one of the best coaches and two of the best foreign guards ever. Should we tank games and play them? Well, I can’t think of any reason why we shouldn’t.”

So Memphis played with all the ferocity and vitriol of a wet dish rag at the end of the season with Zach Randolph and Tony Allen playing an ambitious zero minutes combined the last two games, and suddenly this scrappy upstart of a team was on people’s radar. The best part of the whole decision? It worked! It actually worked. They squared off against the Spurs and smacked them in the mouth in game one, lost an absolute heart-breaker in overtime in game 5, and as a final eff-you, beat the Spurs in San Antonio in game 6.

Suddenly Memphis was one of the more exciting teams left in the playoffs. Even the way Memphis got their wins was exciting. Every victory was a constant struggle between poor shooting and good defense. What Memphis lacked in skill (skill), they more than made up for in athletic defense, and had the edge every game in the having-Zach-Randolph-and-Marc-Gasol-on-your-team category (very under-rated stat going into the playoffs). Those two pushed San Antonio around inside on offense and defense, and on the wing, the Spurs had no answer to Memphis’s perimeter defense. Memphis won by playing like a hockey team and just out muscling and out hitting San Antonio.

This is not only awesome to watch, but also a good way to win in the playoffs where rebounds and points at the rim are like food and water. Good defense and inside production was something Memphis could count on every game, and for a while, was all they needed. Unfortunately, good defense ended up losing the struggle alluded to earlier, and threes that counted were not a common site for Memphis in their last few games. The Grizzlies lacked the timely perimeter shooting all championship teams have, and eventually their grit and grind style was overwhelmed by Kevin Durant and the rest of the Oklahoma City Thunder.

The Grizzlies still have plenty of reason to be optimistic going into the off-season. They were only a few made baskets away from the Western Conference Finals with their best shot-maker on the bench; and when Gay comes back, he could be their version of ‘Mike’s Secret Stuff.’ Rudy Gay is by far the most compelling potential superstar nobody is talking about this off-season. Gay looked poised to throw a coming out party half way through the 2010-2011 season when an injury stopped the celebration before he got a chance to blow out the candles. Certain elements will be there for Memphis next season. They will get production from Z-Bo inside. They will have one of the best and only true centers in the NBA in Marc Gasol. They will get good defense from Tony Allen, and they will get scoring from their stable of capable perimeter players. The only question mark is whether the right wrist of Rudy Gay has enough daggers in it to get Memphis to the finals.

More than any other sport, basketball teams need a superstar to win. In hockey you can get away without one, in baseball you can get away without one, and in football you can get away without one. But in basketball, step one to winning a championship is getting a superstar. At the end of this season, Zach Randolph was the closest thing the Grizzlies had, and even though he is a guaranteed twenty and ten, he is not a superstar. He is an extremely productive player, but the fact that he can’t have the ball in his hands for the first 12 seconds of a possession limits him at the end of games. To take the next step, Memphis needs to have somebody who can bring the ball up the court and hit a game-winner as time expires, not just from the block but from anywhere. Randolph went 2-8 from three this post-season. That doesn’t qualify as anywhere. Gay however, has proven he has the courage (read: balls) to make these shots, and towards the end of his season, the rightfully cocky 24 year old not only wanted, but commanded the ball late in the game.      

In 2006, Gay was drafted based on his upside, and in 2010, the optimism of Memphis appears justified. At 24, Gay will be entering his prime this season and, if his first few years in the league are at all indicative of things to come, he will only get better. If he does, Memphis will have their superstar and their answer to the NBA playoffs riddle. And if OJ Mayo can find his shot, and if Z-Bo can stay ageless, and if Gasol can be the 2010-2011 playoffs Gasol all season, and if Conley can keep up his solid play, and if Tony Allen can pretend he’s not turning 30, and if Xavier Henry, Sam Young, and Greivis Vasquez can all reach their potential, the Grizzlies will have the eh-hem, courage, to make it further in the playoffs than their franchise ever has. Read that last sentence again while rubbing a rabbits foot, watering a four leaf clover and turning every penny you own face up.

10 Reasons You Should Be Watching The Stanley Cup Finals Too

1. The Players - There is literally no way Lebron James can win the Stanly Cup.

2. Facial Hair - The hockey playoff beard is one of the best traditions in sports. Of course hockey players tend to be a little crazy (really crazy), so the facial hair tends to go beyond just beards. There is no greater collection of beards, mullets, and porn mustaches than in a Stanley Cup Final.

3. The Arenas - The Dallas Mavericks arena has been alive in two games so far but the Heat arena has sucked harder than Franklin and Bash. The seats are rarely full when play starts and the fans that are there struggle to get into the game. How do you struggle to get into a NBA Finals game? On the hockey side of things, Rogers Arena has been loud and full of Canadians hopped up on Labatt Blue and maple syrup (I assume they drink syrup), and the TD Garden has been just as packed with angry Bostonians. The energy of a playoff hockey crowd is higher than in any other professional sport. During the Superbowl, the only event you could argue, the crowd is full of CEO's and salesmen more concerned with impressing clients than with the game. In a hockey crowd, everybody wears jerseys to the game (under-rated), everybody sings the national anthem (super under-rated), and the only music during the game is from the Hockey Organ somewhere high in the rafters (most under-rated thing in sports).

4. Commercials - The NHL consistently puts together the best commercials on TV. I won't get into it here as I have already explored this in the videos section of my blog. What's really important is the ads from the sport's sponsors. The NHL and NBC quickly realized that less is more and to this day, I have yet to see a single Franklin and Bash Commercial on NBC or Versus. Thank you NBC. Also Franklin and Bash jokes are one reason the NBA finals absolutely must go seven games. Please don't take these away from me Mr. Stern.

5. Overtime - You won't find a better overtime in sports than in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The speed of the game and the two-way style of play means goals are scored faster than in any other sport. Throw in the sudden death angle and it's like letting Tony Montana hang out by a bucket of cocaine, nobody is sure what's going to happen, but something will and its probably going to happen fast. In the NHL playoffs, a game, a series, and an entire season can end with one flick of the wrist. No other sport is decided so quickly and so simply. Football can end on one play and baseball can end on one swing, but the pace of play is so much slower in those sports. The time between pitches and between plays provides an opportunity to breathe that doesn't exist in overtime hockey.

6. The Handshakes - Handshakes happen at two different times in a hockey series. One is when the series is over. Two teams that just got done literally beating the crap out of each other, suffering bruises, bleeding, and lost teeth, come together to say good game. It's an age-old idea and such a simple gesture, but it's one of the things that makes sports great. The other time hockey players shake hands is after a fight. It doesn't happen after pushing matches, but when the dust settles after ply drop the gloves and go one on one, it usually ends with two guys congratulating each other. This show of friendly affection immediately after unchecked aggression will always fascinate me. Of course this handshake opportunity wouldn't be possible without reason number 7 on the list.

7. Fighting - More specifically, teams handling their own business on the ice. What's more exciting, a technical foul call or seeing two guys drop their gloves and throw a few punches? As thrilling as a loud whistle can be, I have to go with the overhand rights. In hockey, teams are allowed to stick up for themselves and if a teammate gets hit, guys get a chance to retaliate. And because its hockey, teams always retaliate. Amidst all the fighting however, there is an incredible sense of fairness and an eye for an eye mentality that settles the majority of disputes. In basketball, you get ten dudes starting at each other and yelling 'hold me back' over their should as they run away to their own bench. The most aggressive act on the court is the ref making the 'T' motion. Speaking of refs...

8. The Refs - Anybody who has watched a minute of the NBA finals knows the refs and flopping calls have hijacked the series like Hans Gruber. Every game a flop has been called or a foul has been missed that has played some sort of role in the outcome. Going into the Finals people were understandably worried the refs would play a large role. In hockey, the refs play a role in the final score about as often as the apocalypse and the most impact they have is breaking up fights. 

9. America - A team from the United States has won the cup every year since 1994. In 2004, a team from Florida won it, giving the ultimate middle finger to Canada. This year its Boston vs Vancouver and again we have the chance to take the cup from Canada. This would be especially sweet coming off the heels of a Canadian victory over the US in the 2010 Olympics.

10. Tim Thomas - The goalie for the Bruins has been out of his mind during the Stanley Cup finals. He's let in only 5 goals in four games and has made 642 (numbers not exact) ridiculous, disheartening saves on Vancouver shots. On top of that, the guy plays like the love child of Brian Urlacher and a strong safety from the Lingerie Football League (google it). He somehow manages to be the dominant force that anchors the Bruins while being stuck between the pipes. The video below says it all and if you just skipped to the bottom, this clip should provide reason enough.

Long Time Coming

Let's all play a quick game; imagine you're six minutes away from reaching your dream. It's taken unimaginable drive and desire and 27 years of work to get this far, and now it is in your grasp. It's what you've wanted most in life and now you’re so close you can taste, touch, hear, and smell it. One more thing; you have to imagine in German.

Five minutes to go; the dream starts to move a little further away, but you’re not worried because it's still right next to you and you've got the arms of a 7 foot tall German. Four minutes to go; you reach out to grab the dream but it jumps back suddenly.  Now you’re confused and a little annoyed, but still sure the dream will be yours soon. Three minutes to go; the dream has turned its back and starts sprinting away. You chase after it, and for the first time start to wonder if you might not catch it. Two minutes to go; the dream is fading into the distance and now you are sprinting madly trying to catch it. You run as fast as you can but your arms are heavy, your legs are tired and the dream is still going strong. One minute to go; you’re panicking! Time stops and you get one last chance, one final try to lunge for your dream. You throw yourself at it and reach as far as you can-- Your hand closes-- and your finger tips touch nothing but air. The dream is gone.

Back to English. In Game 3 of the 2006 NBA finals, Dirk Nowitzki led the Dallas Mavericks to a double-digit lead over the Miami Heat with six minutes to go. Six minutes was all it took for the Heat to storm back and win, and in the tragedy of tragedies, Dirk missed a free throw with seconds left to tie the game. For the rest of the series the Mavs put up as much resistance as Paris Hilton on prom night, and three games later the Heat were crowned NBA champions. Being the team’s best player, Nowitzki took all the blame. Despite averaging 27 points and almost 12 rebounds a game, Dirk was labeled ‘soft’; somebody who didn't have what it takes to win a championship. The following season Dirk and the Mavericks claimed the best record in the NBA and Dirk was named the MVP, but a few days later, Dallas was destroyed by Golden State in the opening round of the playoffs. The word ‘soft’ was all but carved into Dirks Epitaph.

Nobody is exactly sure what ‘soft’ means in the NBA; does it mean you don't fight? Because other than Ron Artest, nobody fights nowadays. Does it mean you can't make clutch shots? Because Dirk has made as many clutch shots as anybody in the last five years. The one aspect of the ‘soft’ label that always holds true is that it’s impossible to get rid of. For the last five years, the Mavs have won over fifty games a season with Dirk as their unquestioned leader. They are consistently one of the best teams in the league, and Dirk is consistently one of the best clutch players in the league, and yet the ‘soft’ label remains.

This year though, Dirk gets a Ron Burgundy type shot at redemption. The Mavs are in the NBA finals and through-out the playoffs they have done everything people said they couldn't. People said they couldn't beat Portland; and in round one, after blowing a huge lead in game four, we were sure it would be the same old story and the Mavs would disappoint. In round two people were sure they couldn't beat LA. Dirk led his team to four straight wins and an absolute thrashing (truly one of the worst we’ve seen) of the Lakers. And in round three, Dirk took down the two-time NBA scoring champ and one of the hottest young teams in the league in the Oklahoma City Thunder. Now the Mavs have moved on into the NBA finals. Dirk has teamed up with other guys who couldn't quite get it done; Peja from the Kings, Kidd from the Nets, and Marion from the Suns, and this band of misfit toys will have their shot at a title. This time they will try to spell redemption M-A-V-S not S-O-F-T.

To College Or To NBA

The differences between college basketball and the professional game are undeniable. In the NBA, athletes are bigger, faster, stronger, and even the white guys can dunk. In college, players are smaller, slower, and most of the white guys major in business for a reason. There are thirty teams in the NBA, and most teams have twelve players in their rotation. Those 360 players are the 360 best basketball players in the world. In college there are teams with 6 foot 1 guys from River Falls, Wisconsin who made the team because they show up to practice on time and provide a boost to the teams average GPA. No NBA team owner is going to pay somebody millions of dollars a year because he gets A's in Biology class. Some people think this makes the NBA better than college basketball. For some basketball fans, the fact that guys in the NBA play so much better makes it a better game to watch. For me, it just makes it different.

Random Average College Basketball Guy has one advantage over every star in the NBA -- he knows his days are numbered. He knows he's got four years, and after that he will never play another meaningful game of basketball again. He knows he can literally count the minutes he has left until his dream is over and the hourglass runs out. So every minute of playing time he gets, he plays as hard as he can. He works himself to the point of exhaustion every time his feet touch the floor, because soon, there will be no more work to do (that doesn't involve a time-card). He plays his ass off because if he tries hard enough, the dream may stay alive. That drive, that passion, that effort, and the emotion that comes from it, is what makes college basketball so good. When college players show emotion it connects them to fans, and we are reminded that they are real people. They are college kids eating Spaghettios and frozen pizza who care just as much about the game as we do. And as fans, that's something we care about, that's something that matters.

For some, it may matter too much.

College basketball isn't good because guys make every shot, it's good because players miss a lot of shots too. It's exciting when a shot goes up and there's no telling where it will fall. When players really care you can see the pain with every miss and the joy with every make. In the NBA, players get paid millions of dollars and play 82 games a year. If a player screws up, it doesn't matter because there is always another game, and he still gets paid more than the GDP of several countries. Watch a close game in college and a close game in the NBA and it's impossible not to notice the difference. The players play differently, and the fans cheer differently.

Being so different allows the NBA and college basketball to both be great. In the NBA, guys do make every open shot. In the NBA, athletes make plays that seem to defy what a normal human can do. We watch the NBA to see something incredible and some players are so good they hit every big shot, make every big play, and almost never disappoint. That's why a lot of fans (finger pointed very aggressively at my self) only root for players in the NBA. That doesn't make watching the NBA wrong or worse or better, just different. And in college when a player's emotions get the best of him and he plays poorly, or he rides the feelings of the crowd to victory, that doesn't make college basketball better or worse than the NBA, just different.

Running with the Bulls

 So I tried something a little different for my latest post and decided to do a running diary for the Bulls-Heat game on Wednesday. I'm not really sure how this turned out so let me know and if it's good I'll do more and if it sucks I'll throw the idea in the back room with the lost Nixon tapes.

7:15 -- Live from my couch it’s my first running diary. I’ve got basketball pre-game on my tv, Chinese food in my stomach and some Bud Light Limes (screw you it’s a good beer) in my mini fridge. Let’s do this.

7:35 -- Has there been a weirder starting line-up photo than Joel Anthony’s? Apparently he keeps one eye on the ball and one eye on his girlfriend at all times.

7:36 -- My question has been answered, Joakim Noah everybody.

7:40 Miami 6 Bulls 2 – Early on, the Heat seem much crisper on offense. Their passing looks much better than the Bulls and they already they have gotten to the rim twice. If the Bulls can't stop Miami from getting lay-ups and dunks it’s going to be a tough game.

7:41 Miami 6 Bulls 3 – Carlos Boozer commits his second foul of the day. The first one was called while he was brushing his teeth this morning.

7:42 Miami 8 Bulls 3 -- Three out of the first four baskets have been at the rim for the Heat. After not being able to get to the rim in game one, Miami is making a strong effort to fix that in game two.

7:51 Miami 14 Bulls 11 -- The Bulls have made three of their first seventeen shots. Somehow they are only down by three.

7:53 Miami 14 Bulls 13 -- Boozer with the first dunk to scream to emphatic head shake of the night. Boozer would be perfect as a hype man for Jay-Z or Kanye; one of those guys who stands to the side and yells the last word of every other line into a microphone while waving a towel. Tell me he wouldn’t be great at this.

7:56 Miami 15 Bulls 15 -- Rose makes his first field goal with his patented drive to the rim, high shot off the glass, get decked to the floor move. Besides Dirks fade away is there a tougher shot that consistently goes in?

7:59 Miami 15 Bulls 17 -- I bet Franklin and Bash turns out to be pretty good (thoughts from absolutely no one watching the NBA playoffs).

8:02 Miami 15 Bulls 21 -- Three turnovers in a row by the Heat lead to three dunks in a row by the Bulls at the other end. Chicago is starting to turn the tables and dominate the paint at both ends of the floor. If the Bulls can continue their inside scoring it could be a long night for the Lebrons. Also dunks tend to raise a team’s shooting percentage which Chicago has struggled with so far.

8:04 Miami 15 Bulls 21 -- Miami commits another offensive foul for their sixth turnover. The Bulls defense is smothering the Heat right now and they look like the white kid in a New York City pick-up game.

8:07 Miami 19 Bulls 26 -- Deng drains a three as he dribbles past an already headed to the bench Lebron. The seven people watching in South Beach take another bite of their fish tacos.

8:12 Miami 24 Bulls 28 -- The Heat have taken the momentum early in the second quarter (Lebron has taken the momentum early in the second quarter). All of this has been done with Rose, Boozer and Noah on the bench but if Lebron can keep it up Miami should gain ground. Lebron is one of the only guys in the NBA who could take control with Jawon Howard, Mike Miller, Mario Chalmers and Udonis Haslem on the floor with him.

8:16 Miami 24 Bulls 28 -- Mario Chalmers gets his third foul for bending over to tie his shoe. The refs are calling it very tight early and it’s taking away from the game like a person talking in a movie theater. Watching NBA refs can really make you hate the NBA.

8:19 Miami 26 Bulls 32 -- Chicago gets their 89th steal to break away bucket of the first half. The fa-Heat-as are going to need less of those. Wade doesn't foul on the play because he has two fouls already. Thanks refs for directly making the game less exciting.

8:30 Miami 39 Bulls 41 -- Does Carlos Boozer know the Bulls have a game tonight?

8:36 Miami 44 Bulls 43 -- Miami takes the lead for the first time since the early going. Wade has been doing everything for the last five minutes. He is just as important to the Heat as Lebron and didn't get nearly enough credit this year.

8:41 Miami 48 Bulls 46 -- Miami is up by two at half. The Heat offense has been all Lebron and Wade but it is working much better than Chicago’s miss a ton of layups strategy. If the Bulls can make shots they will win but the Heat defense is playing well and Lebron and Wade look ready to take this one over.

9:02 Miami 48 Bulls 46 -- The second half starts after a 20 minute half time. Fortunately it flew by with all those Franklin and Bash commercials.

9:04 Miami 50 Bulls 50 -- Miami's offense actually looks slower when they move the ball and anybody besides Lebron and Wade touch it. It’s painfully obvious how much of their offense is simply those two driving to the rim.

9:15 Miami 57 Bulls 54 -- Rose blows by the entire Heat team and the cameraman but misses another lay-up. He seems tentative around the rim instead of going up with authority as he usually does. The bulls need him to go into eff you mode if their offense is going to hang with the moHeato's

9:18 Miami 65 Bulls 56 -- Back to back fast break lay-ups by Lebron and Wade put the Heat up by eight. The Bulls are still in it because of their defense but they won't win another game if their offense continues to be as inept as it has been tonight. Also if Lebron and Wade play as well as they can in four out of seven games, it will be hard for anybody to beat them (my attempt to jinx the Heat).

9:29 Miami 69 Bulls 64 -- The Bulls are starting to climb back into it as my jinx attempts to gain footing. They are starting to run clean offense and get defensive rebounds.

9:31 Miami 71 Bulls 65 -- Miami takes a six point lead into the fourth quarter after being carried for the last three minutes by none other than Udonis Haslem. Somewhere down by Navy Pier, Carlos Boozer orders his second vodka tonic. It's a little strong.

9:39 Miami 71 Bulls 69 -- The Bulls hit two shots in a row and the crowd has started to climb back into the game. There are nine minutes left and Lebron and Wade are going to have to play the rest of the way. This could be trouble late for the Heatles.

9:44 Miami 73 Bulls 71 -- Derrick Rose is starting to look angry. If he can outplay Lebron and Wade for eight minutes the Bulls can steal this one.

9:52 Miami 73 Bulls 73 -- In one Defensive possession the Bulls shutdown Lebron and Wade is rejected on his way to the hoop. On the following possession the Bulls force up an air ball. This has been the entire game for the Bulls.

9:59 Miami 76 Bulls 73 -- Lebron nails a three coming out of a timeout and has a very scary look on his face. Rose is not outplaying Lebron or Wade and everybody in the Chicago area code is chewing their fingernails.

10:01 Miami 78 Bulls 73 -- The Bulls have gone four minutes without a basket and are only down five. Against The Heat that is absurd defense. If they had gotten anything out of their offense they would have dominated this game.

10:06 Maimi 84 Bulls 75 -- Lebron hits a step back with no time left on the shot clock as he officially takes over this game. If the Bulls get any semblance of offense they win this game, but they ran into the same problems they have in every loss during these playoffs. When Rose does not score the Bulls do not play well and Rose went 7-23 tonight. For those scoring at home, that's not good. If the Bulls can run their offense even at 3/4 of their capabilities they can win this series because their defense keeps them in every game. That's why this game was close even with the Bulls scoring two points in the last seven minutes. Unfortunately for the Bulls, two points isn't going to get it done if they want to beat Miami and move on to the finals.

This Ain't Your Daddy's NBA (Or Even Your Big Brothers)

The NBA is becoming a man. It's taken four or five years, but the league has finally matured. Those who've followed closely watched it grow from a young college freshman who drunkenly hits on girls at basement parties, into a seasoned college senior who drunkenly hit on girls in dimly lit basement bars. It became official during the 2011 playoffs when the NBA's young stars earned their diplomas by knocking out the Spurs in round one, the Lakers in round two, and the Celtics only a few days later. Those three teams owned the last decade of basketball. In the last ten years, one of those three teams appeared in the NBA finals every year but one, and the Lakers alone won half of all available championships. Good teams are never good forever though and guys get old, legs get tired, and for a lot of athletes, there is significantly less motivation to make their last million than their first. And so human nature and the human body have taken a hold of the Celtics, Lakers, and Spurs and their time appears to be over. The question is which athletes and teams will step up to claim the next decade. Here is a list of five players who should make more than a few headlines in the next ten years.

#5 Dwight Howard

Dwight Howard is good at basketball for one simple reason, he is absolutely enormous. At 6 feet 11 inches tall with a 7 feet 5 inch wing span; he can touch the roof of most one story houses while standing barefoot. He does not possess any overwhelming skills other than his ability to stand under the rim and be bigger than anybody else in the arena. Fortunately for him, size goes a long way on the basketball court, and he has turned into one of the best players in the NBA. On offense he is a merciless dunk waiting to happen, and on defense all he has to do is stand in the middle of the court and nobody can get around or over him. His large frame has turned him into an unstoppable defender, and he has three straight Defensive Player Of The Year Awards to prove it. Simply put, Howard is the most dominant player in the league in terms of size and strength. He’s also only 25 so unless he starts shrinking when he’s 30 (most people don’t) he should be able to dominate for at least another decade. 

 #4 Blake Griffin

Blake Griffin is the most exciting player I’ve ever seen in the NBA (not counting Jordan since I still believed in Santa Clause for most of his career). It’s really not even close. There is a simple test to determine when an athlete is really a big deal; if my girlfriend has heard of them (she has), they are a big deal (he is). Nobody in the history of the NBA has dunks like Blake Griffin.  The term posterized was invented just so we would have a way to talk about Blake Griffin. On top of his prolificness around the rim he is only a rookie and happens to have a well-balanced all around game. Blake’s only problem is he plays for the worst franchise in the NBA (the Clippers) and for a racist owner, (Donald Sterling). Donald Sterling is a seventy-eight year old business man who owns an NBA team of predominantly black players, and much to absolutely no one’s surprise, this has created a lot of tension and awkward moments in the Clippers franchise. Needless to say, the Clippers have failed under Sterling for many years. But if Blake can find another team (or Donald Sterling reads the emancipation proclamation), we will be talking about Blake as much more than a highlight reel dunk. 

#3 Kevin Durant

Kevin Durant, KD for regular NBA fans, is the best all-around scorer in the NBA. There isn’t a place on the court he can’t get a basket from. His height makes him impossible to guard because he can shoot threes over top of guys who are 6’10”, but he’s also quick enough to drive by most guards in the league. His quickness and in-the-gym range make him the definition of a complete scorer. The likes of which haven’t been seen since Jordan was at the peak of his powers and since Kobe was taking every shot for the Lakers and even trying to shoot free throws for his teammates. KD has led the league in scoring the last two years AND plays with a point guard who is primarily a shoot-first player. After coming into the league in 2007, he has gotten better every year and at 22, he is still three or four years away from his prime. He is the only player right now with a legitimate chance of averaging over 30 points per game for multiple years. The last player to do that was Michael Jordan; he turned out to be pretty good.

#2 Derrick Rose

This is the part where it gets a little emotional for me. I would like to take this opportunity to officially announce I have a man crush on Derrick Rose. As an NBA fan with no NBA team, I am left rooting for players, and Rose has officially taken the top spot. After becoming the youngest MVP in the history of the league Rose has reached super-star status as a player after only his third year. On the court he is angry, relentless, and plays with an aggression that doesn't seem to fit his 6 foot 3 inch frame. Off the court he is exactly the opposite. He is quiet, respectful, and outwardly humbled by a game that he knows is bigger than him. A Chicago native, he grew up playing on black top courts on the south side imitating the moves of Chicago's original hero Michael Jordan. After getting drafted #1 overall in 2008, he has stayed true to these roots by making frequent visits back to the Englewood area (with more bodyguards this time) while living out his childhood dream. His work ethic and humble demeanor have endeared him to Bulls fans as well as for-hire NBA fans such as myself. On top of that, he is the best point guard in the NBA and one of the most explosive players we'll ever see. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make another pitcher of Derrick Rose Kool-Aid.

#1 Lebron James

Lebron James is the best basketball player in the world. As hard as that is for me to admit, it's true. Take away the entitlement, the commercials, the "decision," the fact that he considers himself a global icon, and you’re left with the greatest combination of size, speed, and power ever seen on a basketball court. From a pure athleticism standpoint he is the perfect basketball player. He is 6 feet 8 inches tall, 250 pounds, and hasn't seen an ounce of fat since Vince made Head On with Jessica Alba. There are plenty of big athletic guys in the NBA; what makes Lebron Lebron is that he can also be a finesse player. He is a great passer and handles the ball like a point guard in the open court. His high basketball IQ allows him to play any position and dominate all of them. There is a reason people thought he could be the best ever. To date, James has yet to live up to that billing, and although he is young, he has entered his prime without a ring. He has the tools to claim this decade for his own and win more than a couple rings. If he can keep his focus on basketball and less on global iconing he will do just that. If not, well, I just finished making my batch of Derrick Rose Kool-Aid.